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Larken Rose's
"CANDLES IN THE DARK"
If you're struggling with helping your statist friends and family wake up, here are a few questions you can ask to get them to ponder their principles and beliefs. No need to get confrontational and loud. Everyone's an anarchist already, they just don't know it yet. You can't force anyone to wake up, though. No matter how much logic you provide, they still have to figure it out on their own. You can, however, ask them questions to jumpstart that process.
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This is Larken Rose's Candles In The Dark method of one-on-one discussion. Before you begin, there are several things you need to be mindful of:
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• Be in control of yourself. Don't get emotionally reactive.
• Have your goal in mind, and take your time.
• It's not about winning or defeating anyone in debate.
• Be the most caring and most understanding when they are the most vulnerable. Be pleasant, be patient.
• Confidence matters. Be certain of what you know and understand and be able to explain it without being condescending.
• It is for THEIR benefit, not yours.
• Make sure the discussion is one-on-one, not in front of an audience, that way the person doesn't feel pressured and others cannot derail it into an argument.
• Keep everything in the form of questions, and keep your questions personal, specific and precise.
• Don't argue facts.
• Try to avoid using statist terms (government, law, crime, countries, etc) as well as big words.
• If you are talking more than the statist is, you're doing it wrong.
Before you say a single word, observe how you see the person and the discussion itself. Again, they're not people you need to defeat. You're there to help them. It's not about your views or principles, it's about bringing out of them the anarchist that's already there. Don't rush things, don't be in a defensive mode yourself (because that will automatically make them defensive, as well), and don't be condescending.
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If your goal is to change someone’s mind right then and there, you will fail almost every single time.
The moment you are talking to them is not when they will change their mind. That will happen later, long after the discussion. It’s like when someone breaks a bone and goes to a doctor. The doctor doesn’t heal the break, he just aligns the broken parts so the bone can heal itself over time. So, you are setting up the situation where the person can fix themselves. That’s all you can do. The entire goal is to get them to see the contradictions in their own belief system… and that’s all.
People want to do what's right more times than not, but their internal moral compass may need some fine tuning after decades of bad programming and indoctrination. That cognitive dissonance needs to be resolved which only they can do. You can't un-indoctrinate someone. These questions can help bring those issues to their mind, or come up with your own.
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1. Do you think it's a bad idea for someone to break into your house and steal your property?
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2. If that person were to hire someone else to break into your house and steal your stuff, and the person says, "go in and steal it and we'll split it," do you think that's bad?
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3. What if the thief says, "well, it wasn't my idea, he paid me to do it! I'm just following orders! It's not my fault!" Would you buy that excuse? Is he still culpable for his actions?
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4. The other guy says, "Well, I didn't do it, I just paid him to do it." Would you buy that as an excuse? So, they're both guilty, right?
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5. What if a bunch of people in the neighborhood get together and say "we're gonna vote to have this guy go steal their stuff and divvy it up amongst us, and we'll call ourselves The Board Of Neighborhood Wealth Redistribution." If they did that and had a vote, would that make it okay?
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6. So, in other words, if there's something that's wrong for you to do, can it be right to ask someone else to do the same for you? Is there anything you can do that would make it right for your hired agent to do but would be wrong if you did it yourself?
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7. What if you vote for someone to appoint someone, and it's done through legislation, is that okay? Does that make it morally acceptable?
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8. What if the guy who robbed your house says, "Well, how can I pay my bills if I don't take your stuff?" Is that a valid justification for them robbing you?
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9. What if some agents of the state say, "we want to do this special program but we're not sure how we can do it if we don't force you and all these other people to help pay for it." Let's say it's something you don't even want, and you think it's unnecessary or even destructive – Do you think it justifies them paying someone to come take your money just because they say "we're not sure how it'll work otherwise?"
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10. When there's ever a conflict between your own conscience and the dictates of a political "authority" – their law says this and your conscience says "I don't think so," – is there ever a case in which you should betray your conscience and choose what you know is wrong just because someone told you to do it?
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Most people do what they do, participating in this system, and never really contemplate these moral questions. Most tend to just accept that the end justifies the means regardless of how glaringly immoral those means are. Those 10 questions are to help jumpstart that contemplation, to get them to think about what they're supporting and why it's wrong.
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If you get someone to the point where they say, “I don’t know. I don’t know how to answer that question. I’ll have to think about that,” then take that as a sign of success. That's the best response you can get. You got them to see that there is a problem that THEY have to sort out. That is the goal. After they’ve said that, say no more! Even if they freak out and leave the room, that response is just as good of an indication because it still tells you that they’re not comfortable with their own belief system. They'll be thinking about it, and that's where the change happens.
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I highly suggest getting the full Candles In The Dark seminar for a more in-depth understanding of the method. You will come out of it with language skills that are effective if done correctly. Of course, every person is different and some people are beyond reach. You do what you can, you plant your seeds, and you move on.